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kcakes
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Name: kacie
Gender: Female
Interests: classical music, classic rock, needlework of any kind, swimming, children, sunshine, writing, glitter, love, taking baths, taking walks, books, bags, perfume, bodies of water, shopping, mountains, listening, colors, thinking, singing, road trips, photographs.
Message: message me
Member Since:
11/12/2008
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| but I may as well have, because writers block is horrible.
if any of you out there could give me something to write about, absolutely anything, I'll give it a try and if it kicks me back into writing shape I will be forever grateful.
please and thank you. :]
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| I think it would be awesome to be a truck driver. I like to drive. I like to travel in general. I don't mind spending time by myself. I'm young and have no reason to be tied down to one place to call 'home'.
Plus, I could write a bestselling book about my experiences on the open road.
Obviously this wouldn't be something I could do for my entire life. Ultimately I'd like to end up with a husband to take care of me, and babies to take care of. These things require stability.
But I'm 18 now. Why shouldn't I do the things I want to do before it's too late to do them?
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| still on my back with eyes unblinking in the dark, the rise and fall of my chest a silent, rhythmic thing, I wait for it to take me. it's supposed to be a thick, creeping, smothering thing -- a blanket of the driest dust with no room for light to pass. it's supposed to be instantaneous, silent. it's supposed to come like a trained, eyeless assassin.
instead, the cold place around my waist where I'm meant to be held begins to sparkle and sting with memory. my heart can't quite keep up with the rush of blood that comes with the thought of the tangled way we fit together. the quietest movement of air fills the room with its surprise as goosebumps prick where I remember the trail of your lips.
so it's another night of vivid dreams, cast in the forgiving glow of a long memory, shining light on places I want to hide, illuminating things inside me I was too weak to cut out.
I do these things to myself.
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| 'I swear or affirm that':
1. 'I will understand the effects of all recreational drugs I take prior to ingestion, to the best of my ability. I shall research all relevant neurochemical, psychological, physiological, and spiritual effects, the legal issues surrounding the drug and its use, along with other relevant information.'
2. 'When taking a drug I am inexperienced with, I shall begin with a reasonably low dose suggested to be psychoactive by the aforementioned research before progressing to higher dosages. I will measure the drug carefully, with an accurate scale, when possible and applicable.'
3. 'If it is possible that the drug may contain harmful adulterants or in fact be a different drug altogether, I shall have the drug chemically analyzed for purity and content. If this is not possible, I will use caution and/or follow the appropriate course of action.'
4. 'I will learn the overdose limits for my own body weight and adjust them for any possible synergistic effects due to diet, prescription or other drugs. I will also adjust for dangerous side effects and my own health condition. I will also learn of any possible drug interactions and make sure I am not at risk.'
5. 'While under the effects of a drug, I shall not take physical risks such as driving, climbing, swimming, or any other physical activity in which my actions may cause harm to myself or others.'
6. 'When first using a drug I am inexperienced with, I shall take it in the company of an experienced user, also known as a sitter. The sitter will remain sober during this experience, and will also have fully researched the drug. If this is not possible I will make sure there is a responsible way/backup plan to deal with any haphazards which may occur during my experience.'
7. 'I shall not attempt to sway, force, trick, or otherwise coerce another person or animal to take any drug; rather, I shall discuss previous drug experiences and research frankly and honestly, allowing all people to make their own personal decisions about drug use.'
8. 'I shall defend the rights of others to make educated, responsible decisions about drug use. I shall not support any person or movement that attempts to remove or abridge said rights.'
9. 'I shall not allow my drug use to overshadow or disrupt the other important aspects of my life, including social interaction, employment or even other personal pursuits.'
10. 'I will also take responsibility for the drug use of friends and relatives, if their drug use becomes dangerous to their health or personal relationships.
11. I will take drugs only in my free time, when I am not answerable to an employer or responsible for another person's health and well-being.'
12. 'As a drug consumer, I will embrace responsible drug production and distribution methods, such as growing or pharming your own, and shun suppliers who use violence when not necessary for their self-defense. '
'I swear this with the hope of creating a society in which safe, responsible drug use is a personal decision, not a criminal offense.'
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I came across this on a forum that I'm a member of, and have been giving it some thought. At first I got the feeling that if all recreational drug users followed, or at least considered these guidelines, that perhaps the bad reputation might fade from collective memory of America.
Then I remembered why most people condemn drug users -- fear of the unknown, usually coupled with a crippling sort of ignorance.. In my experience fear is pretty much always the reason anybody condemns anybody for anything.
So, I'm guessing that even if this list was reproduced in every stoner's basement, on every sheet of blotters, on banners behind airplanes flying over fields of mushrooms, and everybody followed it, that recreational drug use would still be viewed exactly the same way it is now by straight society -- as something to be looked down upon and judged. As long as there is fear of the unknown, and as long as the media is around to fuel this fear with stories of irresponsible drug use painted as the norm, drug use will never be accepted in popular society.
Bummer, eh?
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| I'm not sure how else to explain, but I had an experience. This life is beautiful. There is beauty everywhere, all the time if you're looking the right way. It's not even a matter of looking in the right place; everywhere is the right place. It's a different kind of sight.
I have new eyes.
My applications to CSU and UNC have been sent. Step one of getting out of the rut.
I put a bid on some cool fabric on Ebay, which if won will become a blanket if I can find an appropriately soft fabric for the inside of it. Maybe I'll try to learn to sew clothes. That might be a useful skill.
There's a part of me that has trouble being motivated to commit to another four years of formal education. Because I guess I just get the feeling more and more that there are educations completely separate from the formal kind. Like learning to sew. Or talking to the little kids at my work. Or traveling. Or turning my mind inside out on the grass by the creek. I'd hate it if any of that stuff were to be sacrificed for school. Not that I don't think that college will be a good experience -- I feel certain that it will. I'm definitely a learning person, just maybe not a school person exactly.
But, I guess that's what it's like when decisions are mine to be made. It's like being a child and an adult at the same time. There probably isn't any way of being sure about a decision until after it's made and I see what comes of it.
"Oh well, what the hell."
-McWatt, of Catch-22
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